A Must Have Baby Book (with a purpose).

When we created 1-2-3 Just Play With Me, we did so with some very specific considerations. One was choosing a card format vs. a book because while the content on those cards are therapist inspired, we created the product we wanted (and had time for) as busy moms AND therapists.

One benefit we envisioned was the ability to stick a few at a time (appropriate for baby’s age and/or stage) on the refrigerator or nursery shelf,  empowering families to learn the many beautiful details of early development by playing with their baby purposefully, while being present in that specific moment in time and not getting overwhelmed with the many changes that come in the first few years.

 

Along the way, we’ve discovered (with the help of many of you) more creatives ways our sweet cards could be practical in every day life. One of our favorites is using the cards as your personal “baby book.”  As you enjoy reading detailed milestones to watch for at each age and in each developmental domain, customize your cards with what you are seeing your baby doing! Add first words, dates that milestones were achieved, and funny or cute experiences.  That’s right take a pen right to those beautiful cards!  Not only will you have a detailed account of your baby’s development, you can also share their individual developmental path with your pediatrician at your child’s next appointment.

 

Don’t have your copy of 1-2-3 Just Play With Me yet? Pick one up for you, or as a gift and explore why Today’s Parent calls 1-2-3 Just Play With Me a “Product That Will Make New Parent’s Lives Easier.” (Also available via Amazon Prime, in ebook format, and select retailers).

Don’t Add Tummy Time As Another Thing On The Schedule. What a pediatric PT wishes every hospital told new parents.

I love working in early intervention for many reasons, but one of the most rewarding is working alongside other passionate therapists. Today I got a call from a long time and skilled colleague, a speech language pathologist who is a feeding expert in our community. She had a question that led to a great discussion that led to this post (why not share helpful convos, right? That’s why we are here). Her question: I’m working with a 2 month old that hates her tummy. I’ll give general recommendations, but when do I need PT support? And why do babies hate being on their bellies so much? And what can we do to make this more pleasant for babies and families?  

In my experience, there are several understandable reasons parents tend to avoid tummy time, rooting in real reasons that babies don’t enjoy the position, resulting in real (and incredibly frequent) consequences.

WHY DO PARENTS AVOID TUMMY TIME FOR THEIR BABY?:

FEAR:  As a new parent leaving the hospital you are overwhelmed with education on the dangers of letting baby sleep on their belly. It is natural that your first instinct as a new parent is to keep them SAFE. That’s the #1 goal right? I see so many parents avoid tummy time out of fear that their precious, little, fragile baby will not be safe on their tummy.  I was this parent. And I am a physical therapist and my husband is an occupational therapist and we STILL avoided it somewhat with baby #1 OUT OF FEAR. I reassurance parents daily (and wish someone had reminded me) that if you are present, awake and alert, and placing baby on a firm surface, being on their tummy from day 1 is not only safe, but beneficial. Here’s WHY.

DISCOMFORT:  For many reasons (another post, another day), there are many babies that suffer from acid reflux and colic early on. This can lead to legitimate (and often under recognized pain) and a strong avoidance of a tummy down posture (interestingly some babies with these diagnoses may prefer this posture and find it soothing). If untreated and unresolved the pain from acid reflux often leads parents to avoid placing baby on his/tummy and this ultimately leads to other concerns. If you feel that a baby is genuinely in pain or distress, speak to your pediatrician about your concerns. 

CONVENIENCE:  Technology and innovation continues to progress as time goes on and the baby industry is not absent from advances. More and more baby “containers” are created that are incredibly efficient at soothing a baby. Often recreating the sensation of the womb, these swings, seats, bouncers, and rockers can keep baby happy and quiet for long periods of time. The result is more time for parents to get some rest and get things done (who doesn’t love and need that? Me too!) However, there is a reason babies fuss. It’s how they communicate early on. It is their way to request what their body needs – food, physical contact, movement etc. If the container does such a good job at soothing them, they often miss out on natural experiences with their caretakers and during play that are SO IMPORTANT and essential for their development. So while we all need some help and convenience  from time to time, it’s important to limit time in these containers. More on avoiding the “container shuffle” here. 

WHY DO BABIES DISLIKE BEING ON THEIR TUMMIES?:

PAIN: See above. A baby in pain may not like this posture. We can’t stress enough that signs of pain should not be ignored. 

SENSORY CONFUSION: When we think of senses, we thing smell, taste, touch, and hearing. But body position and vestibular movement is a large sense represented in the young brain. Our brains seek out what we are used to and familiar with. Many parents tend to wait until 4-5 months when baby seems more stable with more head control to start tummy time. But by this time, this belly down posture, can seem very foreign to a baby who has only been positioning upright or on his/her back. When things seem foreign we tend to make noise. Think of yourself upside down on the occasional roller coaster. It feels weird, and scary – so you scream….same for baby who has never been placed belly down. If tummy time is started from day 1, it is my experience that frequently baby will never complain or dislike it. 

POSTURAL IMBALANCES: The longer baby stays in the womb the more restricted they are to movement (no more room in the Inn). So many are born with some postural imbalances where the fascia over the muscles becomes restricted on one side vs. the other (think of your stiff neck on one side when you’ve slept in a “funny” position). In many European countries, they often treat infants with osteopathic adjustments for this very reason before they send them home from the hospital.  Often times, these imbalances (if minor) will work themselves out if baby is benefitted with free movement, however if significant, imbalances occur (often presenting as torticollis) baby may be uncomfortable on his/her belly.  

 

CONSEQUENCES OF AVOIDING TUMMY TIME:

DELAYED MILESTONES: Studies show us that babies that have more exposure to free play on the floor meet their milestones earlier. I see this every day. To be frank, this isn’t rocket science. We get better at anything we get to practice. More time on the floor or a firm surface to play allows baby to flex, extend, move in diagonal patterns, and generally get stronger and more coordinated which eventually leads to rolling, crawling, sitting, and walking! I frequently remind parents that they can’t magically roll if they are either held or strapped to some sort of seat all day. 

MISSING OUT ON TYPICAL DEVELOPMENTAL EXPERIENCES: Babies are born with primitive reflexes and responses that are replaced with more mature postural reflexes as they move and develop. If these aren’t replaced or fully integrated, there can be lasting consequences. For example, there is a reflex that integrates when a baby crawls. If it does not, seated attention, posture, and hand/eye coordination can be affected. Other benefits can include improved visual coordination and strength, aided digestion, promotion of natural head shape, and development of natural muscular arches in the hand that support eventual skills such as handwriting.

IMPACT ON OVERALL DEVELOPMENT: We focus on gross motor or physical benefits of tummy time which are so important, but we can’t forget the other areas. When babies become mobile on their tummies, they engage in problem solving situations, flexing their cognitive muscles (How can I get to that thing I want across the room), fine motor skills (picking up tiny things they shouldn’t on the ground), and social skills (I WILL get to mom/dad to show them what I want) to start to advocate for themselves and engage with others at will.

STRATEGIES TO MAKE ALL THIS BETTER:

ALTERNATE POSITIONING: Tummy time means belly down – allowing lifting the body against gravity. This doesn’t have to be on the floor. It can be on a parents’ chest, a large yoga ball, over a lap, or on an incline/wedge/Boppy type pillow.

INTERESTING MATERIALS AND ENTICING SETTINGS: Kids always like the paper or the box, right? Save enticing but safe materials for supervised tummy time experiences (bubble wrap taped to the floor, tissue box, kitchen spoon/whisk) and settings (textured blanket, kitchen floor (yes I’m serious), the grass (or any place outside on a blanket), the kitchen table (with parent right next to them – great place for eye contact!).

DO IT EARLY & STOP SCHEDULING IT: My favorite tips include not to schedule it and to start on the day you come home from the hospital. If we make tummy time an “event” on the daily schedule, it’s likely to not happen or only last 10 minutes. I advise parents to always place baby on the floor or Pack-N-Play on the tummy when they set them down vs. a swing or seat. Ay the end of the day, this practice leads to MANY minutes of exposure to play on the belly, and a natural part of the daily routine leading to consistency. 

A child’s development is fascinating and exciting. Learn more about what to expect and how to encourage early milestones in a format you will actually have time to read and use. 1-2-3 Just Play With Me is kind of like this post – Mom inspired and therapist created. Hope both are helpful!

Milestones & Miracles

2017 Holiday Gift Guide For Kids By Age

“What should I get them???”
As therapists we hear this all the time.
You know what else we hear often?
“My kids don’t really play with toys.”

Here’s our 2 cents on this as professionals who believe in the power of play. We all play. All mammals. No matter how old. We were designed for play. It’s the best form of stress release. It recharges creative pathways. And most importantly, it brings JOY.

Sometimes as parents the hardest part is finding the right toy for the right kid (or adult). But we believe Santa has the perfect one for everyone.   
So here’s what we’ve done this week.
We’ve made our lists and we’ve checked them twice.

We added toys we have in our homes. Toys we’ve learned about in patient’s homes. Toys recommended by therapists around the globe. And toys that span a large range of interests and prices.  We’ve combined all our lists by age right here for you and hope you’ll find it helpful.  What would you add to our lists? What do your kids love?

1 YEAR OLDS

2 YEAR OLDS 

3-4 YEAR OLDS

5-7 YEAR OLDS

8-10 YEAR OLDS

10 & OLDER

Don’t forget 1-2-3 Just Play With Me for the expecting or new parents on your list! Empowering them with 3 years of education and purposeful play suggestions is a perfect and practical gift! 

 

Milestone or Modern Convenience Part II: What to do when the convenience becomes a hard habit to break

Lacy recently wrote a blog for Virginia’s Early Intervention Program – specifically geared for therapists that work for that program, but the information is important for clinicians AND parents and caregivers. We have reposted it here but you can find the original HERE.

 

Written by: Lacy Morise, M.S. CCC/SLP

 
If you haven’t read it yet, be sure to check out the first blog post in this 2-part series, Milestone or Modern Convenience? – Part I: Overuse of the Sippy Cup and Pacifier, to learn important information about an infant’s need for sucking and the risks involved with overuse of the pacifier and sippy, cup!

 
Now that you are familiar with the pluses and minuses of pacifier and sippy cup use, what about when the parents are ready to help baby “give up” the sucking habit? Again, as the resource for all things infant and toddler, we can suggest the following tried and true strategies.

 
Cut back – When ready to begin weaning, cut back on the time that the pacifier and/or sippy cup is available to the child. If the pacifier has been available to the child all day, every day suggest cutting back its availability to only nap and bedtime. As for the sippy cup, cut back its use to only when the family is out and about. When at home suggest offering the child a straw or open cup in its place.

 
Go cold turkey…if the child is ready – If going cold turkey is the method of choice pass along this wisdom: if the child is not ready, he may find something else to suck on, like a thumb or fingers. However, if ready, this method may work just fine. Suggest that, if going cold turkey, it is a good idea to rid the house (or at least baby’s line of sight) of all pacifiers and/or sippy cups. If they remain in the cabinet or drawer, baby will know and will want them!

 
Provide additional comfort – In preparation of weaning a baby from the pacifier and/or sippy cup, provide him with an additional comfort item. If the child’s only “lovey” is the pacifier or sippy cup, having a back up “lovey” will still allow the child a comfort when his first choice is gone.
Understand that routines may change – Warn your families that routines may change when weaning baby from the pacifier and/or sippy cup, especially if it is used as the child’s primary comfort item. When the pacifier/sippy cup is gone, the child may need assistance with calming, temporarily; swaddling, rocking, singing and some extra cuddles may be necessary until baby learns how to calm himself without the help of his pacifier or sippy cup.

 
Give the pacifier or sippy away to a new baby – Sometimes parents can convince the child to give up these items with some incentive. However, it is suggested that the new baby receiving the child’s old pacifiers/sippy cups not live in the same house. It will be more difficult for the child not to suck on a pacifier if there is one nearby. Some parents are also able to negotiate a trade with their child: “If you leave your pacifier under the Christmas tree, Santa will take it with him and leave you a present!” If the child is ready, this trick is a gem!

 
Some tips to warn parents to not try are:
Never, ever cut the pacifier nipple and give it to the child – Yes, if there is no nipple for the child to latch onto they will be less interested in sucking the pacifier. However, the risk of choking is too great to ever recommend this as a means of pacifier weaning. Pacifiers have to pass what is called a “pull test” during manufacturing. A cut nipple would not pass this pull test and would be deemed as unsafe for a child to have.

 
Do not shame the child for wanting to suck on his pacifier or sippy cup – Toddlers and preschoolers typically do not respond to being shamed into giving up the pacifier or sippy cup. Telling the child that in order to be a “big kid” he must give up his most prized possession may just make him want it more. And who can blame him, who really wants to “grow up” anyway?!

 
Do not recommend putting something that tastes bad on the nipple of the pacifier and/or sippy cup – I have known families to dip the nipple in chili powder to convince their toddler to stop sucking on his pacifier. One sweet little guy I knew still wanted his pacifier so badly that he licked the chili powder off, little by little, chased it with water and eventually got his paci back. Again, this is a case of the parent wanting the child to make the decision to give up the comfort item. Not gonna happen! Sometimes the parent has to be just that and take control.

 
So we wish you good luck as you head into the magical world of the paci and sippy cup. It holds a strong spell on many little ones, but with the right guidance and when our families are ready, we can help them help their children kick the habit!

 
Do you have any suggested weaning methods to add to this list? What would you say to encourage your families to follow through with weaning their child?
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Lacy Morise, M.S. CCC/SLP educates families on the risks involved with over-use of the pacifier and sippy as an early intervention speech-language pathologist in the West Virginia Birth to Three Program. She guiltily confesses to allowing all of her children to abuse the use of the pacifier! She owns Milestones & Miracles, LLC a company devoted to educating families about child development and the importance of PLAY! Check out her website and blog and follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and YouTube.

Milestone or Modern Convenience? Part 1: OverUse of the Sippy Cup or Pacifier

Lacy recently wrote a blog for Virginia’s Early Intervention Program – specifically geared for therapists that work for that program, but the information is important for clinicians AND parents and caregivers. We have reposted it here but you can find the original HERE.

 

Written by: Lacy Morise, M.S. CCC/SLP

Although shocking to many, the sippy cup is NOT a developmental milestone. Nor is sucking on a pacifier, for that matter. But why do we (therapists,??????????????????????????????? parents and caregivers) celebrate these acquired “skills” as developmentally appropriate achievements? Why do we allow these “skills” to happen for much longer than they should? Is it just easier to always have a pacifier (aka mute button) in the baby/toddler’s mouth? Sippy cups are so easy to take along with us everywhere, how can it be harmful if a preschooler continues to exclusively drink from one?
The pacifier is a great thing for infants. It meets a physiological need to suck and allows baby a way to comfort himself. It may reduce the risk of SIDS as it appears to allow baby’s airway to remain more open and prevent baby from falling into a deeper sleep. Not to mention the other fringe benefits like quieting rowdy babes, helping them sleep longer and making outings and car rides more enjoyable for all. It certainly has a “place” in an infant’s world! And the sippy cup is an awesome convenience must-have. Drinks can be toted everywhere with baby/toddler and a sippy’s use means less spills to stain the carpet! Beautiful!
But aside from these benefits, there are risks associated with the over-use of both. Pediatricians and family physicians recommend weaning or stopping pacifier use in the second six months of life. Shocking I know considering how many toddlers we see with pacifiers in their mouths! The sippy cup can be skipped all together if natural development is occurring with no issue. Created for convenience, the sippy cup now has an entire market (and aisle in most stores) devoted to it! However a baby can transition to a straw (as early as 9 months) or open cup just as easily and drinking from both of these IS developmentally appropriate.

 

DSC05445-300x225
As trusted resources on development, it is our job as early interventionists to inform families of both the positives and negatives of (prolonged) sucking. Some points to keep in mind as you discuss these “milestones” with parents and caregivers:
Prolonged sucking on a pacifier puts children at (a higher) risk for misaligned teeth. As those tiny white pearls are erupting, the pressure of the nipple of the pacifier can cause teeth to move around and shift. Also, the pressure can cause their hard palate, the roof of their mouth directly behind the front teeth, to change. It can push the palate forward, again changing the position of the teeth. In his research, J. Poyak concludes, “The greater the longevity and duration of pacifier use, the greater the potential for harmful results.”
A sippy often allows access to drinks all day long for a toddler. Not necessarily a bad thing, depending on what is in the sippy. If it is a sugary drink, the sugar increases the risk of developing cavities. The Medline Plus article titled, “Tooth decay – early childhood” states, “When children sleep or walk around with a bottle or sippy cup in their mouth, sugar coats their teeth for longer periods of time, causing teeth to decay more quickly.” Also, if a sippy is the only way a child gets liquids the developmentally appropriate skills of drinking through a straw and open cup are inhibited.
If children are allowed to have a drink (in a sippy or other cup) all the time, they may fill up on liquids and not eat meals as well, negatively impacting their nutrition. 

 

Although inconsistent, research suggests a relationship between prolonged sucking and speech delays. Barbosa et al. (2009) concluded in their research of 128 Patagonian preschoolers that, “The results suggest extended use of sucking outside of breastfeeding may have detrimental effects on speech development in young children.” When speech sound development is negatively impacted, so is the child’s intelligibility of speech making it difficult for others to understand them.
Sucking on a pacifier increases a child’s risk of developing otitis media (ear infection). The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) and AAFP (American Academy of Family Physicians) advocate for limited to no use of the pacifier in the second six months of the child’s life to decrease this risk.
A pacifier or sippy cup that is always in the mouth of a child, even when the child is walking around, puts him/her at a higher risk for mouth injuries. A 2012 study by Dr. Sarah Keim of Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, found that “a young child is rushed to a hospital every four hours in the U.S. due to an injury from a bottle, sippy cup or pacifier.” When little ones are just learning to walk, doing two things at once requires a bit more coordination than they are capable of!
Besides the physical risks, beyond the age of 1 a stronger emotional attachment to the pacifier (or sippy cup) makes it increasingly difficult for the child to detach. The pacifier/sippy goes from meeting a physiological need during infancy to providing emotional comfort to the toddler when scared, upset or sleepy.
However, it is our job to know and respect the individuality of each child. Therefore it is best practice to reassure parents that we recognize they know their child best. We all want our children to be happy and if using a pacifier and/or sippy is what’s best for them and their family, that is okay. Our job is to inform the families we serve the best we can. Equipping them with knowledge on why prolonged sucking may be detrimental to their child allows the family to make the final call. Education and Support, that’s what we are there for.
Have you ever had the “prolonged sucking” discussion with any of the families you serve? How might you begin this conversation with a family?
Today’s blog is Part I of a two-part series on prolonged sucking and what we can do to educate families about it. Stay tuned for “Part II – What to do When the Convenience Becomes a Hard to Break Habit” next week featuring ideas you can share with families who are ready to wean their child off of the pacifier or sippy!
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References
Barbosa, Clarita, Sandra Vasquez, Mary Parada, Juan Carlos Velez Gonzalez, Chanaye Jackson, N David Yanez, Bizu Gelaye, and Annette Fitzpatrick. “The Relationship of Bottle Feeding and Other Sucking Behaviors with Speech Disorder in Patagonian Preschoolers.” BMC Pediatrics. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Mar. 2015. http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2431/9/66
EG, Gois, HC Rubeiro-Junior, MP Vale, SM Paiva, JM Serra-Negra, ML Ramos-Jorge, and IA Pordeus. “Influence of Nonnutritive Sucking Habits, Breathing Pattern and Adenoid Size on the Development of Malocclusion.” Angle Orthod.4 (2008): 647-54. Print. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18302463
Guideline on Periodicity of Examination, Preventive Dental Services, Anticipatory Guidance/Counseling, and Oral Treatment for Infants, Children, and Adolescents (n.d.): n. pag. Web. 18 Mar. 2015. http://www.aapd.org/media/Policies_Guidelines/G_Periodicity.pdf
Hauck, Fern R., MD, MS, Olanrewaju O. Omojokun, MD, and Mir S. Siadaty, MD, MS. “Do Pacifiers Reduce the Risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome? A Meta-analysis.” PEDIATRICS5 (2005): E716-723. Do Pacifiers Reduce the Risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome? A Meta-analysis. PEDIATRICS. Web. 17 Mar. 2015. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/116/5/e716
Keim, Sarah A., MA, MS, Erica N. Fletcher, MPH, Megan R.W. Tepoel, MS, and Lara B. McKenzie, PhD, MA. “Injuries Associated With Bottles, Pacifiers, and Sippy Cups in the United States, 1991-2010.” N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Mar. 2015. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/129/6/1104.long
Natale, Ruby, PhD, PsyD. “Risks and Benefits of Pacifiers.” American Family Physician79 (2009): 681-85. – American Family Physician. Web. 18 Mar. 2015. http://www.aafp.org/afp/2009/0415/p681.html
Poyak, J. “Effects of Pacifiers on Early Oral Development.” Int J Orthod Milwaukee4 (2006): 13-6. Print. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17256438
Regulatory Summary for Pacifier (n.d.): n. pag. U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Web. 18 Mar. 2015. http://www.cpsc.gov//PageFiles/120645/regsumpacifier.pdf
“Tooth Decay – Early Childhood: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia.” S National Library of Medicine. U.S. National Library of Medicine, n.d. Web. 17 Mar. 2015. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002061.htm
Zardetto, CG, CR Rodrigues, and FM Stefani. “Effects of Different Pacifiers on the Primary Dentition and Oral Myofunction Structures of Preschool Children.” Pediatric Dentistry6 (2002): 552-60. Print. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12528948
____________________________________________________________________
Lacy Morise, M.S. CCC/SLP educates families on the risks involved with over-use of the pacifier and sippy as an early intervention speech-language pathologist in the West Virginia Birth to Three Program. She guiltily confesses to allowing all of her children to abuse the use of the pacifier! She owns Milestones & Miracles, LLC a company devoted to educating families about child development and the importance of PLAY! Check out her website and blog and follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and YouTube.
Website: www.milestonesandmiracles.com
Blog: www.milestonesandmiraces.com/blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/milestonesandmiracles
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/milestonesm/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MilestonesM
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmuWPFDcqZ4

Print or Digital? Which version is best for you?

From the beginning of our business, we have enjoyed sharing our visions and dreams with you – our friends and family personally, professionally, and those who we have connected with through our shared passion for play as the best way for a child to learn and bond with a parent.

For those reasons and more, we are very excited to share with you the next step in our journey to support those who love and interact with children by truly understanding their development in the early years and encouraging the pairing of it with purposeful play.

We are proud to announce that 1-2-3 Just Play With Me is now available for purchase as an E-book!

To give you a glimpse into why we decided to expand our product to a digital offering and how it can be used, we decided to share with you some questions we are asked repetitively (and some answers too!)

“I love your product, but are you going to make it into an app? E-book? Some digital form? Paper is going to be extinct soon!”

While we both still love the feel of an actual book or product to hold, and the opportunity to give a beautiful gift to someone, we realize that many people prefer a more compact version of 1-2-3 Just Play With Me! We both embrace the qualities of printed work and the convenience of digital work. As soon as we created our product, it was a goal to create a digital version so that we could meet the needs of all customers. We chose an e-book vs. an app because 1-2-3 Just Play With Me has enough information and text that it could be a book, but we wanted the convenience as parents of quickly accessing only the information we needed at a time in card form. The E-book was the best option to present the information digitally in the format we wanted to preserve.

“Which option is best for me? E-book or print version?”

Of course, this is personal preference, but in our opinion, if you are purchasing it for yourself to use with your baby, or as a gift, we recommend the print version. Here’s why. The cards can be physically placed in a useful place like the refrigerator door. This allows you (or another parent or caretaker) the opportunity to focus on only the age/stage where the child currently is, while doing all the other things we do as parents (cook, clean up dishes etc). The cards were purposefully made to be quite durable for these reasons.  Our sturdy, decorative box also makes a lovely addition to a nursery.

We do sell a great number of units to therapists, child care centers, and early childhood professionals. Depending on the professional use, the E-book version may be more practical. For example, Lacy & I both work in early intervention, so we will be loading the E-book on our individual devices to take daily into the homes of the families we serve to use as a quick reference (as a PT, I LOVE this option to reference the areas of development other than my familiar motor area. It allows me to give the parents a comprehensive and appropriate look into which milestones we are working on and how we can tie together goals in several areas of development into a few activities).  The E-book is obviously easier to transport for work purposes than the print version for us, but if you work in a clinic where you want parents to view the cards themselves in a waiting area or interactively with you during therapy sessions or parent conferences, the print version may work best.  Additionally, the eBook version has a table of contents, search engine, and hyperlinks to additional resources that the print version doesn’t have.

“I really like your product. I wish I had it earlier, but my child is 2 years old, so I’m not sure I can justify buying the whole set. Have you considered splitting it up into sections?”

Why yes, we have! We considered this in the early development phases of the print version, but doing so initially would have increased our production costs making it difficult to sell to our customers at a fair price. With the E-book version we were able to meet this request! You can purchase the cards in the first, second, or third year of life separately and each comes with the detailed resource section at the end of 1-2-3 Just Play With Me, including common topics such as potty training, discipline, sleep. sign language, and book and toy recommendations. Simply search for each individual year at the ebook store of your choice!

“I really like the design of the cards. Is that lost in the E-book conversion.”

We do too, so absolutely not! 1-2-3 Just Play With Me is color coded to quickly reference what domain of child development you are looking for and sequentially by age. That was part of our essential original design so we could not lose that in the conversion. In fact, we actually added a table of contents so you can search by age or area and a search engine to look for specific topics and milestones. The only difference is, that in the e-book version, you will not see our colored scalloped borders, but you will still be able to use the color coding system to identify which of the 5 developmental domains you are exploring. The font in the headings of the e-book sections will maintain the same system as the printed cards (red for cognitive, navy for social/emotional, green for gross motor, gray for fine motor, and light blue for speech and language). Here’s a screen shot to give you a sneak preview!

 

horizontal version

 

 

“So how can I find 1-2-3 Just Play With Me digitally?”

We are excited to offer our e-book through Amazon/Kindle, Barnes and Noble/Nook, iTunes.

Simply click the hyperlink above to find the version of your choice and to read a sample.

There you have it. What you need to know about our next step. As with all of our previous steps, we are humbled by your encouragement and support. For reviews of what others are saying check out these reviews and these too! If you share our vision for a world where adults understand what real development looks like and embrace their children through play, will you share with a friend or colleague that might benefit from knowing  about our E-book? Whether you are a paper fan or a digital fan, we know you’ll be a 1-2-3 just Play With Me fan once you experience the detailed developmental information, purposeful and fun play strategies, and practical and unique format we are proud to offer you! Remember you can always order the print version at Amazon, Pro-Ed, and right here at Milestones & Miracles (we’ll happily ship for free and include a gift card for you). You can also visit these lovely spaces that may be local to you to purchase one in person.

WILL YOU HELP US KICK OFF THIS EXCITING NEW ADDITION TO OUR BUSINESS? SIMPLY SHARE THE FACEBOOK ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OUR PAGE AND WE WILL ENTER YOU TO WIN A FREE DIGITAL FULL VERSION OF 1-2-3 JUST PLAY WITH ME! DRAWING WILL BE HELD ON FRIDAY 9.19.14. THANKS!

 

Are The Shoes We Are Asking Them To Fill Simply Too Big? How What You Know (or Don’t Know) About Child Development Could Be Affecting Your Child

This article is currently running in the 2014 Annual Family Resource Guide Edition of Child Guide Magazine. Check out the entire issue online at: http://www.childguidemagazine.com/too big

 “Stop running,” says the mother to the 4 year old. “Sit still,” the embarrassed father whispers sternly to his toddler at story hour. “If you don’t know these sight words by Friday, your teacher will be upset,” warns the anxious parent of the new Kindergartener.  We’ve all heard these threats. In all honesty, most of us have made them, or something quite close to them. But if we could take a moment to pause and consider if the demands we place on our children are developmentally appropriate would we continue to make them?

 

As a pediatric Physical Therapist, I help families determine the functional and developmental skills that their child has challenges with at their current age/stage. Then I provide them with play-based strategies to help them achieve the goals we’ve set together for their child.   Parents help their children meet these goals through practice during play. This method of helping children learn makes perfect sense, yet it is barely used in the context of teaching children at any age or with varied abilities. 

 

Why do we, as parents and educators, ignore that small voice inside that instinctually KNOWS what our child should learn or how they should behave at their given age in favor of unrealistic goals?

 

It turns out, it’s not entirely our fault. Society has a lot to do with the faulty message that parents are receiving.  Although the reasons why the message to parents are numerous and complex, there seems to be 3 strong motivators.  First, not surprisingly, is financial.  Toy and “educational” product manufacturers are aware of the pressure parents feel to have their children keep up with the swift race that childhood has unfortunately become and can capitalize by offering products that meet that emotional need, despite the fact that many of these products are not developmentally appropriate.  A prime example of this are the “Baby Reading” Programs that teach young children to identify the shapes of words and match them to the actual word through repetition without actual literary learning.

 

Second, is a trickle down effect from the education system. As college entrance levels become competitive and our nation falls behind in international educational rakings, panic rises, and pressure increases to “get ahead.” Yet, once again, instead of relying on what solid research says about how young children learn best (through hands on play and in context through multisensory experiences – especially in the first 5-6 years of life), we turn away from methods other countries are using and turn to drill work and standardized tests for younger and younger children. I love the saying that “Kindergartners should be blowing bubbles not filling them in.”   And at the end of the day, knowing that this educational standard is looming in the years ahead, parents of preschoolers and even babies automatically turn to activities that will “prepare” their child for school without regard to developmental need.  A recent poll showed that 65% of parents feel that “flashcards are very helpful in helping 2 year olds develop intellectual intelligence.” Unfortunately 65% of those parents are wrong. Yes, a flashcard can help your child learn to memorize that the letter printed on it is a “B,” but running around a room and sounding out starting letters of various toys and throwing those that start with the letter “B” into the bucket with the “B” on it is an example of REAL learning, in the context of play.

 

Third is the current belief, held by many adults, that the end product of a child that is gifted in many ways – academically, athletically, artistically, musically etc. is more important than the actual process of childhood.  Think about it. Are you gifted both creatively AND analytically? Me neither. Expecting your child to be sets an unrealistic standard. Filling the schedules, of particularly young children, with lessons, and structured experiences to try and meet that unrealistic standard denies them what is most important for their learning – unstructured playtime.  The consequences are tragic.  Mental health statistics in our young children, particularly tweens, are on the rise, not fully, but in part to a lack of opportunity to “blow off steam” through unstructured free time.   Eating on the go to rush from lesson to game to tutoring and decreased physical education and recess time in our schools have led to the staggering statistic that 1 in 3 American children are obese.  

 

We need to wake up. By understanding how children learn best at each stage and what is developmentally and neurologically typical, we can foster quality learning for healthy children. I know it sounds overwhelming. Here’s some easy ways to start:

 

·       Understand Development. Speak to pediatricians, early childhood specialists and educators who have specialized training in what ages children’s bodies are made to learn certain skills. Did you know that the average brain is not ready to accept literacy in the form of actual reading until 6 years of age? This is why it’s not taught in Germany until 1st grade.  Why do pre-K parents feel like a failure if their child can’t read BEFORE they go to Kindergarten? Tune out what the media, the mainstream retailers, and what the “academic preschool” is telling you. Listen to your inner voice and those who have done solid research on child development. Einstein Never Used Flashcards by Hirsh-Pasek & Golinkoff, Play by Murphy, and Brain Gym by Dennison are great places to start if you are interested in the stages and ways children learn specific skills.

·       Understand What Actually Will Make Your Child Smarter. Interestingly, straight IQ is not a measure of future success. Psychologists now talk about “multiple intelligences” as the best measure of true intelligence, with consideration to things like impact emotional intelligence, such as empathy, self-discipline, and interpersonal skills, in addition to analytic abilities. What impacts these? One of the highest indicators is language – especially vocabulary. No matter the age of your child, read to them. Visit the library. Let them read and write to you when they are able. Tell stories and sing to each other. Have dinner conversations.  Also, the environment your child is in matters and can affect IQ as much as 15-20 points. Your encouragement, involvement, and affection matter. 

·       Keep Expectations Real. Once you know what to expect from your child at their current age (or more importantly stage of development if they tend to show delays or have unique patterns in development) and focus on what they are able to do and enjoy doing.  Keeping appropriate expectations will allow your child (and yourself) to be less stressed and more engaged with what they are motivated to learn about. Continuing to challenge your child to learn just outside of their comfort zone will keep them engaged and eager to learn. It is equally important to embrace their given abilities. Only 1.5 out of 10 people will have an IQ over 117. In fact the large majority of people, 86%, will score between 84-116 on an IQ test. Why is “normal” no longer celebrated or embraced but seen as a weakness?

·       Know Your Child And Be An Advocate. This might be the most challenging but the most important recommendation! We all learn differently. Is your child a visual or auditory learner? Does he or she work best independently or in groups?  Is he/she a quick worker or need more time? Keep learning styles, preferences, and abilities in mind when teaching your child and choose activities and preschools that line up with what you believe is best for your child.  Communicate these observations to teachers and coaches. Yes, if you chose formal education or community sports, your child will have to play by the rules set for them, but a great educator and coach will help them do that best by knowing how they learn best.

·       Don’t Stop Playing. Ever. Fred Rogers once said, Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning.” If we take the opportunity to play away, we take away a child’s ability to practice all that they are learning. In today’s world, this might mean saying “No” to an activity or actually looking at your calendar and penciling in down time. Embrace it and swim up that stream. Your children will be happier and healthier because of it.  You are their best example, so remember to allow yourself to play and have downtime as well!

 

It’s not odd to wonder, “How did we even get to this place?” Before the 19th century, childhood wasn’t formally recognized. Children were viewed as miniature adults, preparing themselves for their eventual adult roles. Photographs and artwork of that period even depict them as small adults.  At the end of the 19th century child psychology was born, children were studied, and experts in the field emerged.  These experts, such as Dr. Spock, became influential as more mothers worked outside the home and wanted to make sure that in the time they had with their children, they were doing all they could for them. Today, we dress children as adults. We expect them to sit, be still, stay quiet, read, write, and score well on standardized tests before they are developmentally ready to do so, and we fault them  (and ourselves) when they can’t.  They are stimulated incorrectly mentally and stifled physically. We have turned them into miniature adults again, abandoning much of what we have learned about our children through the years. Are we ready as adults to give childhood back to our children?If we have the courage to do so, I think we’ll find we will have happier, healthier, smarter, and more engaged children.  And nothing makes a parent happier – than a happy child.

 

Nicole M. Sergent, MPT is a Pediatric Physical Therapist. Because she believes in empowering parents to understand and embrace their child’s unique development and in jumping in and engaging with them through purposeful play, she co-authored a unique tool for families of young children called 1-2-3 Just Play With Me. It is her effort to help give childhood back to children by helping parents understand development and pairing it with play. Find out more at: www.milestonesandmiracles.com

 

 

 

 

 

Growing Your Own Virtual Village

I’m a big believer in the concept that a village raises a child. Whether it’s your Mommy Posse of friends that become family or your actually family, in my mind, the more people loving a child, the better for that child.

My family is big (in numbers and personalities). Growing up I believed it typical that everyone’s grandmother watched them daily (along with most of their cousins) and cooked dinner for 10 or more people many weekday evenings, 15 or more on weekends, and 40+ on holidays. Everyone does that, right?

Growing up, I also knew there were MANY eyes on me. Eyes that read me stories, eyes that smiled when I had a birthday, a sporting event, or a good report card, and eyes that were watching if I chose to make a bad decision. It was like having many sets of parents — the good and the bad parts (coming from a child’s view) but now, as an adult,  I know it was all good.

My mom has a much younger sister (a surprising joy to our family) and her children were born when I was in my late teens. They moved to Canada but that did not stop the family village. We spoke regularly enough to know, celebrate, discuss, & analyze most of their childhood and teen years – from first steps and words, to first dates, to first day of living in new college apartments. We drove them crazy, but I loved really “knowing” them, despite the geographical distance. (p.s. my hunch is – they will agree with me one day).

As our family grows – and grows – and grows (our next baby is coming in February!), and spreads out across this beautiful world, it could be harder to stay in “the know” with the family, but it hasn’t been…because of the two miracles we call FaceTime & Skype.

As ignorantly irritated as I get when I don’t have wi-fi or our home server is down (how impatient and obnoxious is that?), I am incredibly awed by the fact that I can share a conversation with my cousin Tania in France while she gives her baby a bath at night and I prep dinner. I adore the fact that we get to see Halloween costumes and Christmas gifts live with my cousin Nina’s boys in Colorado. We are able to see my newly married cousin’s exciting house renovations and weigh in on tile and paint choices. I’m amazed that my 83 year old immigrant grandmother spends many hours a day warmed by the virtual presence of her cousins across the globe (literally).  Years ago, they might be luckily to have 1 phone call a year!

And as a mother now myself, I am so thankful that my family stays connected with my daughters and that they learn what life is like all over the place in a “real time” way. My cousins in Kuwait have shown them sand storms out the window of their home. Australian cousins have shared their view of winter even though it is blazing hot summer here in WV at the same time (this BLOWS the kids minds!). My Teta (grandmother) shares live cooking shows of what she is making. My girls read books and share art projects and lost teeth with my in-laws. My Aunt Lisa watched my daughter’s entire 4 year old birthday party via her laptop (yes she’s awesome). Skype and Face time bring those we love and miss right into our living room and next to us at the dinner table.

The aspect that I love the most about the endless opportunities of “virtual visiting” is when it comes to babies. I LOVE my family and I LOVE their new babies even more. It’s actually painful at times not to be able to scoop up those babies, bring over a lasagna and do a load of laundry, or babysit in a pinch when distance forbids it. But visiting through the web is the next best thing. I want the babies in my family to KNOW me and my family. I want to be a part of their village. I want to be the eyes that celebrate, love, and watch out for them.

Our newest baby for the moment is sweet Lilie Rose, who lives in the lovely South of France (lucky her).  (Side note: if you are interested in how having a baby in France differs from the US — Read HERE – it’s our personal family observation). We saw her last April and won’t see her in person again until July.  She has and will change incredible since then, and thanks to Face Time, I haven’t had to miss much. I’m sure I drive my cousin crazy at times, but when I Face Time with her I also do some of the same things, (most of which are act like a total lunatic) because I want her to recognize and know me too. I always sing her the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” (it’s our thing) and she now smiles as soon as I start despite the fact that I am a HORRIBLE singer. Family loves you no matter what, right? Here is Lilie and I sharing some time together (excuse the appearance – ehh – It’s because of the time change 🙂

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Banana Phone Call For Miss Lilie Rose

 

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Imitation – she can open her mouth like me (luckily she is not as scary!)

 

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Washed the Spider Out! (her favorite part!)

 

If you have family (or friends that are like family) spread out, do you spend time visiting them via the Internet? What are fun ways you engage with them? If not, I encourage you to give it a try. There are many ideas to connect and play with babies and young kids even if you can’t be in the same room.

Here are some to try:

  • READ – chose the same bedtime story to share repetitively (make it YOUR thing) or introduce new ones.
  • SING –  (even if you are bad – like me). Young children love songs and finger plays (and they really enhance language development).
  • BABBLE AND PLAY – babies learn imitation before they learn conversation (more on that HERE). Be a part of the team that uses purposeful play to start that first conversation.
  • SHARE – Your meal, your home, your yard, your day. Children learn through exposure. Your environment is certainly different that theirs, so play show and tell online!
  • QUESTION – if they are old enough to talk, ask questions. How was their day? Where is their favorite toy? Can they jump yet? Ask them to show you!

Need more ideas to enhance purposeful play in person or online? Click here! (We ship for free and can include a personal gift card when sent as a gift!) 

 

I am Physical Therapist. I don’t have extended formal training on how the minds of young children emotionally develop. I am not a child psychologist, but I am a daughter, a mother, a niece, a sister, a granddaughter, a daughter and sister in law, a cousin and a BELIEVER that growing the number of people who love and are involved with your child can only be a good thing.  It was for me. I know it will be for my girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Family is a WELCOME WAGON

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If there is one thing my family does right it’s babies.  Of course I think there are several things we do right, but this one thing is exceptionally on point.  We celebrate each pregnancy, birth and child as if it was the first in our family for decades (which couldn’t be any further from the truth!).  The excitement mounts for months; cards of congratulations on the news of expecting, multiple baby showers being hosted, visitors at the hospital and anxious relatives who badger the new parents until they show their faces (more importantly the baby’s face) at the upcoming family event.  I guess this all started with my grandmother, she is a matriarch of sorts.  Grandma blessed her husband with 7 children.  From those 7 came 23 grandchildren, 43 great grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren.  AMAZING!  And even after all of that practice, we still get excited!!  In fact, Grandma’s 3rd great-great grandchild is due at the end of January and her 35th great grandchild is due in March and we are all full of excitement and anticipation to meet the newest members of the “Varner Clan”.  Our cups runneth over on a pretty regular basis!

 

So with much practice in baby gift giving, I wanted to share with you all my latest FAVORITE baby shower gift.  Click here to view some of the  most popular baby shower gifts recommended by early intervention therapists and HERE for a list of all things essential (and not so essential) for babies and their parents (hint: what you should (and shouldn’t) include on your baby registry). My latest and greatest baby gift  idea is this…A WELCOME WAGON!  Seriously the cutest thing EVER!  A child’s wagon filled with all that a baby needs: diapers, wipes, onesies, binkies, blankets, board books, rattles and of course, 1-2-3 Just Play With Me!  This gift hits a home run with all expecting parents.  It includes essentials like diapers, wipes and onesies,  developmentally appropriate toys for baby like rattles and board books and 1-2-3 Just Play With Me, 3 years of child development for mom and dad to follow along and appreciate the miracle of their angel and play ideas to help build strong bonds between them and baby.  1-2-3 Just Play With Me is the gift that keeps on giving!  Certainly your wagon can be themed boy or girl if you know the sex of the baby, but can easily be made into a gender neutral gift as well.

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This wagon is chock full of developmental toys perfect for a baby girl or baby boy along with 1-2-3 Just Play With Me.

 

 

And this wagon is perfectly pink for the new princess or your clan.  Packed with diapers, wipes, onesies, a baby doll, rattles and 1-2-3 Just Play With Me, it's sure to make the new parents feel perfectly prepared!

And this wagon is perfectly pink for the new princess of your clan. Packed with diapers, wipes, onesies, a baby doll, rattles and 1-2-3 Just Play With Me, it’s sure to make the new parents feel perfectly prepared!

 

I am so thankful to be blessed with many cousins, aunts and uncles.  And now I am even more blessed with nieces, nephews and children of my own.  Grandma, I can’t thank you enough for the legacy you began years ago when you started our family.  Your example of faith and love inspires us all to embrace life from beginning to end!  You are are the best gift of all!

 

 

 

Dear 28 year old Mommy (aka the me I used to be),

Dear 28 year old New Mother (otherwise known as ME),

There are some important things you need to know. Things that I need to tell you not only to make your days a little easier, but more importantly so that you can stop being so hard on yourself.

First of all, you have 2 girls (drama for the mama assumed in this case) that are 21 months apart. Forget the clean house and burn those to-do lists. They will only leaving you with the dread of disappointment when in fact, you are accomplishing HUGE things – you are raising two future women, mothers, friends, daughters, healers, helpers, listeners…two future warriors. Here’s your new to-do list: If everyone is safe, fed, relatively clean, and happy for at least part of the day – you are WINNING!

Feel the stress of “keeping up” creeping up next to you? Give it the face palm, sista. Your babies don’t need more toys, classes, or lessons. They need more you. On the floor..hugging, singing, and sometimes even just napping next to them! Tune out most of that exterior noise and listen to the coos and giggles next to you, for they will soon turn into nonsensical whining and bickering about trivial topics like…WHY.DON’T. I.HAVE .ANY .SHOES. TO. WEAR? (while looking at a closet full of shoes). Coos and giggles are magic friend.   P.S. The one thing you should buy and play more with.. is BLOCKS. Here’s why (remember your struggle with Physics?)

Some things you are going to be good at. Others you are not. This mothering thing is not unlike your experiences in gym class years ago (sports that involve just you – you fare decently. Throw a ball in the mix…well, at least you tried). Just like you did with softball, try harder every day, but find peace accepting both your strengths and weaknesses. Do you expect your daughters to be wonderful and simply amazing at everything they ever try? I thought so. Give yourself the same consideration.  You deserve it.

On that note, I’ll give you a sneak preview – you are totally gonna rock breast feeding, potty training, and ignoring things in favor of play and naps (see above). Sleep on the other hand – like I said, we all have our gifts. Stop comparing yourself. Yes, your dearest friend is like a sleep fairy that magically kisses her awake (no joke) baby and places her in that gorgeous basinette to fall into hours of glorious slumber. Yes, you will nurse, rock, rock while walking, rock while placing down, rock the crib, and keep rocking yourself while you walk out of the nursery door every night, only to have those babies scream out for you when you hit the door. Yes, you will read (or will ask your sweet husband to read) many books on sleep, you’ll make feable attempts to Ferberize your sweet girls, you’ll talk to the pediatrician about your noble efforts with no success, and you will lie for 20 minutes that feel like an 20 hours with a pillow over your head trying to not cry and lactate at the same time. In the end, you will cuddle that precious gift next to you – exhausted, guilt ridden but relieved at the same time, and you will only sleep with one eye open anyway for fear you will suffocate her. You are weak, but it’s ok (potty training will come soon and it will be REDEMPTION time). Keep trying, but accept who you are!

Going to a friends house for a playdate? Bring a blindfold – just in case! If you see site words labeling the toy room – put it on! Take a deep breath and remind yourself what you know – what you studied & believe. Small children should not be forced into learning to read too early. The brain is not actually ready until 6 YEARS OLD – you have time, dear girl. Read books every day, label vegetables in the grocery store and sing about them while people look at you like a lunatic, dig in the dirt, jump in the rain puddles, don’t forget the blocks, but don’t worry about that baby reading yet.  Your friends know this too – they just see other play rooms, with other site words, and they worry too. ** Spoiler alert – one day not too long from now, your soon to be 5 year old will teach your soon to be 3 year old how to read while playing (gasp) school, all the while –  you will be doing work in the next room (feeling guilty for not being the female version of Mr. Rogers while your children suffer alone). When people become shocked that the 3 year old can read, you’ll swear up and down you had absolutely nothing to do with it and they wont believe you – until, the 3 year old tells the nice people that Mommy was busy and that her sister taught her everything she knows (breathe – embrace the weakness and the strength (siblings are the best gift to each other, and you always wanted a sister yourself).

Things happen because you and your lovely little family need them to. Stop feeling cheated out of a natural childbirth. Listen to that doctor when she says that if you had a baby with your large headed husband in the olden days, both you and your baby wouldn’t be here. Some things are meant to be – your C-section was one of those things. You are allowed to always be mad that they made you wait so long to hold pink bundle #1, but you redeemed yourself and got assertive 21 months later with even pinker bundle #2. Look for the silver lining. Always. One day, you will be one of few thirty some year old mothers, who can jump rope and sneeze safely.

Another thing, those ladies all around you. Your Mommy Posse. They are a GIFT from above. You are already realizing this one. Cherish them and their babies. They are your lifelong family. Others come and go, but those that brought you magical ice packs for mastitis, walked miles with you and your ridiculously heavy stroller,  rescued #1 when #2 screamed 22 out of 24 hours a day with undiagnosed acid reflux, and listened while you heard yourself think out loud about how you were going to make all these important child rearing decisions…those chicks – they are FOREVER YOURS.

You might lose some of that baby weight. You might not. But one day you will think back and belly laugh about the time you set up the Pack-n-Play next to the treadmill, carefully placing the puffs container in the cup holder so you could haphazerdly spill the puffs into/on top of the children to keep them happy for…just…twenty…minutes of heavenly exercise. You will give up the dream of a two piece bathing suit and embrace the reality of health, strength, and a positive example of self image  for your daughters. And that will be way sexier to your husband anyway.

Speaking of him. He’s a gem. Remember that. You are going to go to dinner one day soon when your generous mothers insist you have a date night. You will stare at each other – exhausted – and not know what to say to each other. This will FREAK YOU OUT and you will wonder what happened to “you.” Keep trying. “You” are still there. “You” always will be. Give it 18 months, a good shower, and a few nights in a row of decent sleep. It does wonders. Don’t worry. “You” still got it babe.

Some things will change. Like most things in life, while you will still have some insecurities, but you will get confident with practice. Trust yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to not sweep your floor. Don’t be afraid that you always seem to have baby puke on you. You do. But it’s ok. No one cares.

A few years down the road, your 9 year old (excuse me, HOW did this happen?) will stumble in to your room at 1:00 am sleep walking with a zombie look in her eyes and mumbling about her state mandated standardized testing (another blog – another day) and you will feel guilty because you failed the whole sleep thing – and well, now there’s this. You will look at her face, and her sister’s —  once they are soundly and peaceful (even if briefly) asleep and you will still wonder why YOU were trusted with these incredible human beings.

And you will take a deep, confident breath, and go to sleep, waking to be a more confident and more rested version of the self you are today. And you will be satisfied with trying your best and spending less time worrying and more time saying “Thank you.”

Love,

Your soon to be 36 year old self

P.S. Remember that friend with the angelic sleeper? One day you guys will put your crazy heads together and dream about the resource you wish you had when you became Moms…the thing that tells you that YOU are all your baby needs (with some mud, blocks, and pots & pans). And you will work. And sweat, And cry. And pray. And talk – alot. And one day – you will make THIS. And she will write all the parts about SLEEPING. And you will write all the parts about POTTY TRAING. And your 36 year old self will find peace with her parenting skills with sleep – because, there is always a silver lining.  ALWAYS. And that child who would NEVER nap on a schedule, can now sleep ANYWHERE at ANY TIME. YOU ARE WINNING MY FRIEND! KEEP IT UP!

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INCLUDING THE TRUNK OF YOUR SUV AT AN OUTDOOR TAILGATE WHEN YOUR ALMA MATER IS IN THE THICK OF A SUPER CLOSE FOOTBALL GAME!